Frienemies

I was sitting with my class of 9-year-old boys and girls. I was reminded of the great lessons I can learn from them.

One day we were discussing forgiveness. I asked them to think about different situations in their own lives with their family and friends. Two little girls sitting next to each other look at each other and giggle. They then explain how they like to play with each other most of the time. Sometimes one of them will get real mad at the other and leave for home. After a little while then they call each other and decide to play some more. (An essential piece of advice my Father in law shared with me was to stay out of our kids’ battle zone with friends because they will forgive much faster than adults do.)

One boy sits playing with his shirt with his arms pulled inside his shirt to get warm. He shares how he could probably be nicer to his little sisters at home but that it is sort of fun to bug them.

Another boy trying his best to sit still (he must have tickle fairies hiding inside his shoes because there is no way to keep them on his feet.) shares that sometimes boys at school are not very nice and that sometimes he has to stick up for them.

Sitting at the end of the row, another boy says very thoughtfully, “I have a really good frienemy; sometimes we get along, and sometimes we like to fight. Were good frienemies.“

It got me thinking – I guess I have had some frienemies in my life too. It seems that each experience has taught something of value. We are attracted to specific messages in our real-life education plan, each perfectly wrapped and delivered for our growth and learning. And often, the closer we are, the more messages they might have for us.

We live in an abundant universe with life lessons all around us. 

So the next time you are in the middle of a frienemy lesson, remember that the frustration may be presenting you with a crucial message. Avoid hitting the self-destruct button- this can be an exciting moment.

With awareness, take a moment to put on your SUPER FRIENEMY THINKING CAP and ask, What am I learning from this ? Here is where we can transform the painful lesson into new strength, add unique experiences and tools for life; it may require a lot of love and acceptance of human imperfections. (This by no means referring to toxic, unhealthy and demeaning relationships.)

A Frienemy is Sometimes Friend-Sometimes Teacher. 

Definition: 

1. Opportunities to becoming our best-self;
2. A great frienemy that sometimes feels like the enemy.
3. Worth the effort.

Colors Within Us Affirmations:

• I recognize unique skills, gifts, and talents in myself and others. 
• I see the good in myself and others.
• I progress in healthy, happy, and optimal ways.
• I let go of all anger and resentment. I forgive quickly.
• I recognize and incorporate life lessons with gratitude.
• It is safe for me to do nice things without expecting anything back.
• I am an energetic, interested, and caring friend.